Fear Itself Episode 2: Spooked (Review)
Remember when I said this show was good? Scratch that. Last night’s episode, was entitled, ‘Spooked’. More like not spooked. I’m upset because I could have watched drugs and sex on Swingtown instead.
The episode starred Eric Roberts, Cynthia Watros from Lost and Jack Noseworthy. We start with Eric trying to do his best Vic Mackie impression as, Harry the Cop, killing kidnapping suspect Rory (Jack). I couldn’t decide whether he did it accidently or on purpose. Who knows and it’s the least of my problem with this episode. Anyway, he finds the kid locked in a closet of some sort and saves him.
Afterwards, we see Rory being wheeled away clinging to life and he utters to Harry, “You will never forget this, I won’t let you.” Yeah, me neither Rory, because this episode sucks and so does your acting. This is only 10 minutes in btw.
Flash forward fifteen years and we find Harry still doing his Vic Mackie impression as, Harry the corrupt P.I. He gets hired by Cynthia Watros to find out whether her husband has been cheating on her. There is something creepy about her from the start, but Harry takes the job anyway.
Instead of staking out in his van, Cynthia persuades him to use the vacant house across the street from her house. Now, first off there is no way this house would have been in this neighborhood. The house is not just creepy it looks like a bomb was dropped in the middle of it. And it’s sitting in the middle of what looks like a fairly nice suburban neighborhood, so this is where the story starts to unravel.
More stupid and random events occur while Harry’s in the house and I don’t really care at this point, because I am bored with this whole episode. There are conversations of people who are not there, weird flashbacks of events that are just dumb, and strange changing graffiti. A random teenager tells us the house is haunted because of what he did to those kids. What kids you ask and who is he? That’s the question I am asking as well. Waaay out in left field.
There is nothing really more to tell you guys other than Cynthia Watros eyes are creepy. Seriously, check them out if you waste your time watching this. And her motive is so obvious!!! In the end Harry gets it and Cynthia’s plan is completed. This was directed by Brad Anderson (The Machinist) and I’m not sure if I understand where he was going with this. I’m not sure he knew where he was going with it either.
So what do we learn from this show, uh, playing with guns is dumb. Ok, we knew that. I won’t bother explaining that. It doesn’t matter, I promise.
Overall the second episode was terrible. Maybe a 3/10 if I was rating it and I am. Uh, NBC, this is not the way to build a fan base with your show. Next week we get Clifton Collins, Jr. (awesome actor) and cutie, Colin Ferguson (Eureka) in the third episode called, “The Family Man.” Looks like they switch bodies during a car wreck, and one of them is a serial killer. Sounds like Face/Off to me.
Hope you guys watch, I hope I watch.
Originally posted June 20, 2008.
Fear Itself Episode 1: The Sacrifice
So, I had already resigned myself to hate this show, because it’s on network tv. I mean how scary could it get? Well, I gotta say they managed to pull it off. There was blood, violence and a pretty cool looking vampire. And a bit of sexy time moment.
Episode 1: The Sacrifice
Four criminals are fleeing the scene from a criminal activity they have taken part in and they get a spike in their tire. I still don’t know what it was they did, but one of the dudes is hurt badly.
Instead of going down the open road, they make a stop in a huge fortress deal, where they meet three strange women. There’s no electricity or anything resembling modern life there. Think M. Knight Shyamalan’s, The Village, gone bad. And can I just say when there are rows of makeshift graves in the yard, LEAVE, go back from whence you came. But, they don’t. So on with the show.
I won’t give it away completely, but let’s just say there’s a very hungry vampire hanging out in the village. And just like every horror movie two side characters are picked off fairly early, leaving Point and his brother Lemon (poor stupid Lemon). Anyway, Point sends Lemon to look for the others. Another classic horror movie move. Never a good idea and Lemon of course gets it.
Meanwhile, Point discovers the hurt dude has been killed and the girls have their father chained in a room. And although we don’t see the very cool looking vampire yet, he drags Daddy Dead away, and from the sound of it, Daddy gets it.
Point goes looking for his brother and discovers him being attacked and we get a good look at the vampire. And we get the back-story about how the vampire hid among the village settler’s years ago and these women stay there to keep it behind the walls away from the rest of the world.
After some more deaths, Point and the last surviving woman, (Rachel Miner) trap the Vampire in the barn and burn it and him. Finally killing it, my only beef with this plan, is that never occurred to them in the past.
There was a nice little scene at the end that was great, because at first it gives us the impression that everything will be tied up with a nice little bow, but that’s not the deal at all.
Overall I think the first episode was pretty good. Maybe a 7/10 if I was rating it. Definitely worth watching a repeat. Next week we get Eric Roberts in an episode entitled Spooked. Roberts’s plays a private investigator goes on a stake out in a haunted mansion.
Hope you guys watch, if you can pry yourselves away from Swingtown.
Originally posted June 6, 2008.
Saw V Blood Drive = Boring Poster
I don’t get it, its Saw for freaks sake, is this really the best they can do for advertising? BOOO! Try again, we’re not impressed, I expect a severed arm dripping blood and Jigsaw standing above it with a hacksaw saying something sinister like, “GIVE BLOOD or Else!”. Ok, maybe not, but what the hell is this supposed to do?
Anyway this is the ad for the Saw V movie blood drive. So, go give blood because the bimbo on the poster says so.
Horror Films to be Remade Gay
Check this out, this could be the coolest or craziest idea ever. I’m not sure just yet, I’ll have to wait and see on this one.
Several classic horror tales are getting a gay makeover courtesy of Regent Studios, its sister cable channel Here! Networks and cult director David DeCoteau.The helmer has inked a two-year deal with Regent to direct 10 films and two television series through his Rapid Heart Pictures shingle.The projects, some of which will be released theatrically by Regent in the fall, include Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Pit and the Pendulum” and adaptations of works by H.G. Wells and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. New features will also be made for “The Brotherhood” and “The Invisible Chronicles,” two ongoing TV/DVD series.
All of the legendary tales in the slate will be refashioned to include gay themes, as was DeCoteau’s recently released Poe adaptation “House of Usher.” The only film confirmed for release this Fall is the “pansexual” film noir “Playing With Fire,” starring Susan Anton and Michael Bergin. DeCoteau has produced and/or directed more than 50 genre films over the past two decades, including “Leeches!” “Creepozoids” and “Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama,” after his start in the mid-’80s gay porn industry.
Would do you think? And I guess a better question is, what the hell does this mean?
