True Blood Season 2, Episode 12: Beyond Here Lies Nothin’ (Let’s Discuss)

This contains big time spoilers. If you haven’t watched the episode, I am advising you turn back now. Save yourself.**

Well gang at Cheers, this is it for this season and I have to say it (the season and the episode) wasn’t all that and the bag of chips I was expecting. It was all a little on the meh side to me. I have a case of the sads about that I must say. Last night’s finale picked right up where it left off with Lafayette too also has the Coroline Button Eye Disease and has now become a part of what we find out is a wedding party. Poor Hoyt has managed to keep his mother who is also stricken with the disease from attending the shindig. I kind of wished I could have missed it as well.

Anyway, Eric, is busy with Queen Sophie-Anne deep in a game of Yahtzee. She questions Eric’s feelings about Sookie and warns him never to drink from her. Apparently, Sookie’s blood is the elixir of the great and makes you become smitten with her. Old Sophie girl notes that Bill has fallen in love with Sookie, almost leading one to think if her blood is the glue that binds. You see where I’m going with that right? And the big give of the scene was of course, Eric is selling vamp blood on the orders of Sophie nonetheless. Interesting. She tells Eric that she will wear his fangs as earrings if Bill gets wind of this. I gotta say I like this storyline; it was probably the highlight for me, more of gotcha moment, than the actual gotcha moment. I’ll be addressing that supposed moment in a minute.

Oh, lawdy, they got Stupid Hot and Andy. Both of them on their mission to rescue to town caught the Coroline Button Eye Disease and wanted to attend the wedding. Now, Jason is Sookie’s blood brother right? And he got infected? Something in Bon Temps smells…I’ll just leave that hanging out there for ya. There was some more over the top lame-ity which was the wedding with them licking a bloody Ostrich egg. And some drinking from a chalice type deal and some snarky banter between Sookie and Maryann that I wasn’t really listening to as it was boring and corny. Finally it comes time for the big moment and Bill arrives with poor Sam in tow.

Now here comes the good part, not really, but it was supposed to be, I believe. After Sam in tied to the altar, Eggs stabs him in the chest killing him as Sookie protests and destroys the altar and egg. Maryann of course gets angry, but she sees a bull in the field and assumes it is the deity she has been waiting for and let the marriage ensue, she thinks. Instead the bull uses his horns to rip out old girl’s heart, and with that Maryann is no more. And of course the bull is a shapeshifted Sam. See what they did there? Bill let him get almost fatally stabbed, then let Sam feed off him and then Sam turned into a bull and killed Maryann. There’s your ending to the season’s biggest storyline folk with a neat little bow. LAME and BORING. What the hell Ball? I don’t know what I wanted but, that wasn’t it. Some battle of some sort, something. I mean they carried this storyline all season, and that’s it. Anylame, the Coroline Button Eye Disease plaque is over.

Now comes the aftermath, Sookie is a better friend than me, because I would have slapped the braids off Tara personally, but she didn’t she took her back with open arms. Hoyt finally tells his mom off, something he should have done years ago, but it’s never too late to get a life. Good for him. Finger lady found her finger; Arlene reunited with her kids and some more stuff happened with the towns people. The next day of course the theories are flying as to what happened to them. Theories range from aliens, to mass drugging and to bad vodka. Unfortunately everyone is back to laughing at Andy and calling him a drunk. However, Jason is convinced he and Andy are heroes, respectively even though neither of them remembers what happened. Which of course leads to Jason’s new Stupid Hotism of the episode, “If a tree falls in the woods, it’s still a tree?” WOW, profound my friends, profound. I hope they keep that next season Stupid Hotisms are great.

Sam decides to go on a much needed vacay, which we find out means visiting his adoptive parents that left him when he was child. His mother tells him those people are bad and he shouldn’t look for them. But, his dying father gives him a note that reads, MELINDA & JOE LEE MICKENS, MAGNOLIA, ARK, I’M SORRY. So, I guess we’re going to Arkansas next season. Eggs took time to have a massive breakdown and wonders what he was doing during his blackouts. Sookie helps to fill in the gaps and he realizes he killed Ms. Jeanette of the school bus, Daphne and stabbed Sam. Ok, big fat who cares at this point. Why on earth didn’t we learn something useful about this character, we already knew all this. BORING conclusion for this character as well. Later that night while was trying to confess his crimes to Andy, Jason shoots Eggs. Because he thinks Eggs is trying to stab Andy.

In another highlight one of few, Jessica has taken to killing truckers in her spare time. This I like! Hopefully we get some of this greatness next season. Moving on. Bill and Sookie go to dinner and some romantic stuff happens and Bill pops the question. Sookie freaks out and runs to the bathroom to make her decision. Meanwhile, Bill is kidnapped by some mysterious figure. I think this was supposed to be the great big cliffhanger that leads us into next season. Uh, not so much, it didn’t have the vigor of last season’s cliffhanger. But whatever, there you have it, the end.

Overall the episode left me wanting for more, so I definitely will be there with bells on in season three. But, the episode was filled with some serious camp, that I have a hard time forgiving. Don’t get me wrong I like camp but in most cases and this season as well this episode was filled with stuff that got on my nerves, one of which was the whole Maryann/Eggs/Tara mess storyline. I mean all that, and that’s how it ended. Really? I will begrudgingly give the episode an 8/10 and the season a 7.5/10 if I were rating them. Thoughts, groans, moans?
What did you guys think?