You know how sometimes when you watch a film on DVD there is perhaps something you missed in your initial viewing that makes the film just a smidge better? Well, Zombie’s Halloween 2 is not one of those times. In fact, the movie is worse, because from the comfort of your couch you can actually fall asleep. I did in fact fall asleep twice and had to rewind it a couple of times. Now, perhaps I was just extremely tired, but I don’t think that was the case.
Halloween 2 has to be one of the most boring and at times annoying films made in recent years. Let’s just jump right in, shall we? We are lead to believe that we pick up literally on the same night where the first film took place, with the sheriff’s department and paramedics trying to clean up after Michael Meyer’s Halloween night slaughter. There were several issues with this sequence that became even more annoying in a second viewing. During the transportation of Michael’s body, the ambulance driver’s conversation was just hard to buy. Seriously, Rob? Yes, most people in that line of work disconnect themselves from the sadness of death, but they would never be that casual and just downright disrespectful about a recently deceased teenager. And to top it off they hit a cow. A COW, FOR REAL! Of course the lone survivor of this crash is Michael.
Enter Sheri Moon and the white horse. I don’t even know what to say about this plot point, in the very first scene there is a definition about psychosis involving a white horse and a flashback where Moon gives young Michael a toy white horse. After his encounter with dead Mommy and her trusty stead, Michael walks back to town and finds Laurie at the hospital and the chase of course begins. But, we find it’s all just a horrible dream, and in this case literally and figuratively. Too much A Nightmare on Elm Street-esque, but whatever, its still just a mess. We actually find after Laurie wakes up screaming two years have passed. Laurie and Annie have survived their attempted murders by the 7-ft giant. I have one question; did Michael Meyers murder Laurie’s shampoo? What was with the greasy hair throughout the film? Ok, make it two questions, how is it that Annie who was almost gutted in the first film, wind up better adjusted than Laurie? We now find Laurie doing her bad impression of white trash Barbie. Was Laurie (Scout Taylor-Compton) acting worse in this film than the last? Anyway, Laurie’s having these mental breaks where we get some nifty out-of-place black and white sequences. We also find Sr. Loomis is a now a complete douchebag who honestly had no place in this film. His character was virtually unnecessary and pointless Loomis added nothing to this film. A complete and utter waste of Malcom McDowell.
We get some more disconjoined plot factors involving dog eating, pissed off people beating Michael with a really big stick, and since it’s a Rob Zombie movie some gratuitous sex and a strip club thrown in for good measure. Oh, yeah Laurie, Michael and dead mommy share a new telepathic connection. Also, there’s a drawn out scene where Laurie finds out she’s Michael’s sister, Angel. When the film finally ends we find Laurie off to the mental hospital of course, she has completely lost it.
I still am unsure of the purpose of this movie. We learn absolutely nothing and whomever the poor schmuck that has to follow this monstrosity has his or her work cut out for them. I still give this movie a big fat DON’T See it! There is nothing redeeming about it on DVD either, it’s still as bad as it was in theater if not worse because you don’t have the crowd laughing with you at the sheer stupidity.
And WTF is up with this song and this movie?