Am I the only one still excited Rita’s dead? Has everyone forgotten how insipid and annoying that chick was? Well, if last night is any indication then I am alone. They seemed to want to erase how utterly shrewish they made that character the last two seasons. Seriously, the Rita from last night was so angelic I wanted to shed a tear. Well, kind of, I haven’t cried since ’94 so maybe I could manage some tears of dust or something. Let’s dig in shall we.
So, ding dong the Rita’s gone and the police are now on the bloody scene. Dexter for some reason I can’t quite figure opens his mouth and says. “It was me.” Oh, Lord this of course gets the FBI and Quinn’s spidey senses tingling in a bad way for Dexter. Speaking of that, did we really need Masuka making jokes about wanting to see Rita’s neck? Too soon my friend, too soon. While Dexter was running his mouth and showing little emotion the next-door neighbor was going batshit with grief, which of course this didn’t go unnoticed by Quinn.
Deb, sweet demure Deb, fainted with a case of the vapors. Really! Ok, she didn’t but that is a hard ass chick, did you see her when she was carrying those pictures for the funeral? Anyway, Deb defended Dex to everyone who expressed doubt of his innocence of having anything to do with Rita’s death. She even stepped up and planned the funeral. Not fun, been there done that, hopefully will never have to do again. But, to her credit she took great care of her big brother. So this week Deb gets a pass, she was not on my nerves.
Throughout the night, we got flashbacks to Rita and Dexter’s first date. A date that ended where he left the table to go off the kid he had in his truck. Poor damaged, dysfunctional Rita called and set up another one. Unfortunately, when I was starting to feel bad for Cody and Astor, she opened her mouth and said stuff and that faded. I hate that kid! Seriously, she told Dexter she wished her mother had never married him. Well kid we all do. So, does this mean, we’ll see less of her this season as well? Say yes, I need this I had a bad week.
Oh, yeah Masuka let it slip that he knew Rita and next door neighbor dude had a “thing.” This of course sent scowling Quinn over to investigate. Well, not quite on purpose, it happened after he and Deb had the sex after cleaning Rita’s blood from Dexter’s bathroom and picking out a suitable housedress for Rita wear to the funeral. I’m actually going to miss the array of housedresses Rita wore. Sads. Meanwhile Dexter is making plans to flee all this shit! He’s over it. Dexter burns the train car where he stores his tools of doom and gets on the Slice of Life to sail off into the sunset. While making a gas stop, some sort of redneck everyglader dude gets in Dexter’s face and homeboy completely snaps. Loved it, loved everything about that! Dexter like beat him to death with a gator hook, I think. I only watched one episode of Swamp People. I couldn’t understand them so I turned it off. Wait, what the hell am I taking about here. DEXTER. Sorry. But, alas Dex comes to his senses and returns to attend Rita’s final send off.
For a return episode, it wasn’t bad, it was after all what we expected right? Dexter must clean up the mess John Lithgow’s Trinity killer left last season. I actually thought Dexter’s stoic demeanor was a proper reaction not everyone wails in grief, trust me on this. Overall, this season will be fun! Dex will kill, oh yes he will. Astor will get on my nerves, oh yes she will. Dexter will have to kill Quinn’s nosey ass oh yes he will. Thoughts, comments, moans, groans, theories?
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