‘Monsters’ Review – Not District 9 in Anyway Shape, Form or Fashion

Oh, how I wanted to love this movie. I wanted to spread some of that alien inhabitant District 9 love to Monsters, but I cannot. I was just so bored. So very bored, for real though. (I apologize to Antonie Dobson and those who are sick of the intruders in my bed story. I had to. One more time for the year.)

Anyway, back to Monsters. First off, you cannot call a film by that title and not bombard us with exactly that – monsters. I’m sorry it’s a law, check your copy of the Constitution, under God-given rights. Give a girl what she wants, and that is bad ass alien monsters swooping in eating people and spitting them out, Godzilla-style. But thisMonsters tells the tale of a lowly photojournalist who has been given the task of escorting his boss’s daughter from Mexico back to America, through alien inhabited territory. Six years prior alien life forms invaded parts of Mexico in what is now know as the infected zone. Let me just say aside from some fucked up trees it’s not that infected.

What little action we get to see kicks in literally an hour into the film. Before that, we are stuck in some Lifetime movie about two people who appear to be very unhappy in their back-story lives. We don’t care. Where’s E.T.?! Now the actors are great at creating these characters and the film is beautifully shot and styled, but that was not enough to keep me involved. Seriously, I was like, her haircut is so cute. Another problem with this film is they tried to weave in a little love story of some sort. I suppose the main characters were to have bonded over seeing the “traumas” of their little Mexican adventure. Fail! I’m too jaded to try to figure that out.

Now, having said that (here I go with the waffling.) Monsters wasn’t all bad, there is a little blood and a small body count. I’m sure there were lessons to be learned about love and deep messages intertwined in this film, that were obviously lost on me. But, i> District 9 managed to entertain and preach teach, so I’m sure this film could have as well. Overall, I would give Monsters a See it! But, only if you are not actually needing to see aliens or action.