Always late to the ball, but I was
procrastinating contemplating this very carefully. Keep and mind I started writing this blog as I was watching Seed of Chucky on cable, so I guess long story short my judgment is clearly skewed. But whatever it must be done. I have to say there were very few high moments in our beloved genre last year. But nonetheless, here goes.
The Bad – These are not in any particular order, because I couldn’t decide on what I disliked more. Just know they all sucked in some way or another. So I applaud these guys just the same.
1. The Wolfman (Bencio Del Toro, Sir Anthony Hopkins, Emily Blunt) – I’m not going to bash this movie, solely out of respect for the actors involved. Honestly, I’m not even sure why I hated this movie. One thing stands out, it was boring. As a friend of mine pointed out, they were going for the old school monster movie vibe. Yeah, only thing is those movies were fuckin’ entertaining and this was not. Bencio you are still sexy as hell, though.
2. Saw 3D (Jigsaw, Mrs. Jigsaw, Costas Mandylor) – I was hoping they would end the franchise with a bang, but instead they went with this movie. What can I say? Jigsaw ordered more supplies from the ACME Company and preceded to kill people Wiley Coyote style for one moral reason of another, I don’t know I wasn’t paying attention. HF.com reviewed this film and I told pretty much the same jokes then, go read it. It was funny. Trust The Fatale.
3. After.Life (Liam Neeson, Christina Ricci, Justin Long) – I didn’t really hate this movie as much as I kept waiting on it to not make me sleepy. Yes, I get that was the tone, but there was something missing. But, it did manage to drive me into my very own little existential crisis, so I give it kudos for that. HF.com also reviewed this and I have no idea what I said about it, so again go read it for yourself.
4. Vampire’s Suck (Some actor people) – I watched the trailer for this and cheered when they made fun of that Twilight shit. Then I watched the movie and realized the best jokes were in the trailer. I hate when that happens. Anyway, the jokes were cornier than mine and that is never good. I give them a high-five for trying to do a horror comedy, but a little more work on the horror part or the comedy part would have been welcomed. Just saying.
5. A Nightmare on Elm Street 2010 (Jackie Earle Haley) – I’m not going to bash this film as my initial hatred of it has subsided a lot. Don’t get me wrong it’s still really terrible, but I’m not going to kick this film when it’s down. And plus, Brad Fuller (one of Michael Bay’s minions) is a Facebook friend of mine and he’s a really nice kid. So, I’ll cut him and this hideous film some slack. But, I will say this, the CGI-wall scene is just atrocious and stupid looking. The plot point that this Springville was supposedly a small little hamlet, where all these kids were molested as a group and continued to attend school together and NO one remembered ANYTHING does not make sense. Big plot hole folks, just saying. But, it did look cool, so kudos to Sam Bayer for his visuals. (Psst, you can also read the fresh review HF.com did when the film was first released.)
Honorable Mentions of the Bad…
Paranormal Activity 2 — No, just no.
Lake Mungo– Yawn!
Monsters — see review. I guess the lesson that needs to be learned, we should probably stop with the mockumentary style films at this point until we can freshen the shit up a bit.
The Good– What can I say, I dug these. I’m sure many of you will think I’m a little cracked in my choices, but to each her or his own. Again not in any particular order. Enjoy!
1. The Crazies (Timothy Olyphant, Rhadha Mitchell) – Oh, how I hearted this movie. It was definitely a highlight in the bleak that was 2010 horror.
2. The Final (Horrorfest 2010) – This was my favorite of the Horrorfest films this year, I think. I don’t really remember. But, anyway this film had nerds exacting some serious justice on some bullies. Only thing missing was a talent show battle, Revenge of the Nerds style.
3. The Last Exorcism (Some actors) – What can I say? I love Eli Roth, it’s true. And I know what I said above about mockumentaries, but there was something interesting and redeeming about this one. The twist had a Rosemary’s Baby vibe to it that just worked. If haven’t already, See It!
4. The Human Centipede: First Sequence (Some German Actors) – Fuck all y’all that groaned! This movie was a funny fucked up mess (all puns intended). I’m sorry to all of you amateurs out there who got grossed out. They didn’t show anything! It’s the idea. Whatever. You’re a wimp. Grow some ovaries, you fuckin’ baby.
5. Let Me In (Kodi Smit-McPhee, Chloe Moretz, Richard Jenkins) – Rarely does a remake stand up to the original, but in this case this did.
Piranha (2010) (Elizabeth Shue, Adam Scott) – An awesomely corny movie done well. And how cool was it to see Adam Scott out badass Ving Rhames? And Jerry O’Connell’s death was definitely worth the price of admission. There were some other pretty cool cameos in this film. See It!
Buried (Ryan Reynolds — Y’all know how I like some political anything, so it’s no huge leap that I really enjoyed this film. Plus its Ry-Ry. Sorry ladies, he’s not naked but still. I promise to do a full review on this one when in it hits DVD. Again See It!
Alright back to bed with me and Roll Tide Roll! Sweet nightmares guys!
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