This contains big time spoilers. If you haven’t watched the episode, I am advising you turn back now. Save yourself.**
Last week on Vampiresty, when we left Jessica she was full on preparing to turn into a pile of goo. But lucky for her Jason has made his way to Zsa Zsa’s to stop her. And he did! That high school football playing finally came in handy, because he tackles her to the ground and just as she was about to eat his face, Antonia was done with her spell. So, everyone gets to live for another episode. Well the main cast at least.
Anyone else love the way the weres look like biker’s and shit? The head werewolf or pack leader man who I’m calling Lucifer’s nephew advised the wolves to stay out of this impending witch versus vampire battle. And Debbie pleads with Alcide to abide by it. In other words, she’s asking him to stay away from Sookie.
Speaking of Sookie. I’ve truly never been a fan of TV Sookie, but I absolutely love her this season with Eric. After de-silvering him, he tells her he needs to feed. And the fun begins. The delicious Viking feeds off her, she then she feeds from him. It was this weird blood brother’s sex tryst haze thing. As cheesy as it was, I’m hat tipping Alan Ball, because Alexander Skarsgard has a hot ass! And any opportunity to see that is alright with me.
Sorry Hoyt, but I’m loving me some Jasonica. After Jessica wakes up she goes home to tell Hoyt that they are basically over. Hoyt reacts by crying and begging to which Jessica responds by smashing his head in. Before you weep for Hoyt, we find out it was all a dream. But, let me just get this all out of the way now. Jessica does decide to break up with him; in reality Hoyt’s reaction was to be a complete and total asshole to her. Note to Hoyt, when someone doesn’t love you anymore you do not get to call them names, especially when you knew she was only 17 when you started dating her. He even rescinds his invitation to their house. I bet you liked her smashing his head in better now.
And then there was Hoyt’s momma Madame Housedress and Little Puppy. Remember how Sam threw Little Puppy from the pound last week, Tommy who isn’t so bright decides to do what we all knew he would – shift into Madame Housedress so he can sell her oil or natural gas. I don’t remember which it was. Again, I’m hat tipping this time to the actress who plays MH, because she did a spot on impression as Tommy. Tallboys all around. (See episode for that reference.)
Behatted Baby’s French or better yet Creole au pair decides to make her usual disturbing appearance this week. This time we get her backstory and let’s just say it’s a damn doozy. Apparently, Le’Aupair back in the 20s was having an affair with a married man and gave birth to his son. While Le was out buying a doll, THE doll, the philandering bastard murders their son. DARK!! After Le’Aupair visits Behatted earlier at Marlotte’s, she decides Lafayette and her needs to get more acquainted. How does she accomplish this? By taking up residence inside Lala! Nice! She then goes to the Belfour Estate and takes the sleeping baby from its crib, all while wearing Lafayette like a Chanel suit. I am loving this storyline, its great horror at its best. Nothing like a good old fashioned ghost story.
Now I can’t have named this recap the way I did without mentioning the climax of this week’s little adventure. Zsa-Zsa decides to make a plea to Antonia to for a truce between the vamps and the witches. Antonia agrees to meet King ZZ in the woods so perhaps they can come to some sort of agreement. But, of course that all goes to pot, because the wiccans and Bill show up with troops which includes our Hot Viking boyfriend Eric and Sookie. And somewhere between Paul Revere’s warning the British that we were coming (per Sarah Palin’s take on history) the first shot was fired so to speak. I’m not really sure what happened but, literally in a single eye blink Eric pulled someone’s brain from their skull. True story. And that’s how The Great War of 2011 began.
Now bone picking time, Pam’s first victim was all lined up to be Tara and Zsa-Zsa steps in and commands her to stop! WTF, BILL?!?!?! And furthermore he tells Pam she can’t ever harm Tara! BOOOOOOOOOOO! for all that. Hate it, hate everything about that. Damn you Elvis, go away you bother me. Just when I was starting to like you, you go and save Terrible. Just for that everyone go step on some blue suede shoes? (Are we sick of the Elvis jokes yet, because I got more? )
In the second cliffhanger moment of the season during the battle Sookie gets shot. I’m not really sure who shot her, but she takes a bullet. And through the chaos Alcide shows up to carry her to safety. With Debbie looking on crying, and I would imagine plotting Sookie’s death. I’m not a fan of Druggie’s but can’t say that I blame her. It has to suck for your hot man to be in love with another chick.
There were some other storylines that I don’t care about including Sam and Luna and her baby daddy. There was Andy who is still a V-junkie and Jessica makes her feelings known to Jason and he too rescinds his house invite to her. That girl had a terrible week.
We end the episode with Eric on his knees in front of Antonia, but not in a good way. Once more the uber-witch is bewitching Eric to probably do something really bad. That needs to end, I like her and all but this effin’ with Eric must stop. Overall this episode was just ok, but entertaining because of the partial battle and the ghost moments. For those scenes I would give it a 7.0/10 if I were rating it. Thoughts, theories, groans, moans?
Episode #45: “Run”
Convalescing after her latest near-death trauma, Sookie envisions a world where there’s room for both Bill and Eric. Jesus (Kevin Alejandro) tries to purge the restless spirit out of Lafayette; Marcus enlists Alcide to help him deal with the Sam situation; Bill and Nan Flanagan (Jessica Tuck) clash over their agendas; Hoyt asks Jason to make a delivery to Jessica; despite Tara (Rutina Wesley) and Holly’s misgivings, Marnie plots her next move against the vampires, during a “Festival of Tolerance” event at Shreveport.