This contains big time spoilers. If you haven’t watched the episode, I am advising you turn back now. Save yourself.**
Well the time has come for us to put the stools back on top of the bar and turn off the lights as another season of the soap opera that is True Blood has ended. For the most part last night’s episode wasn’t that great until the second half. But, here we go nonetheless. The episode was entitled And When I Die because as you might have noticed there was a lot of death happening.
First off, Nelsan Ellis has beautiful eyes. The first shot of the episode shows Lala being treated to an awful breakfast of gross eggs served by Jesus. Soon enough he discovers what we learned last week Marnie is still crazy in the hereafter and has decided she doesn’t want to walk into the light. So the crazy has done what she does, hijacked Lala’s body. Marnie’s response to Jesus’ discovery — stab him! Actually he should have been stabbed for his horrible hair style and for those disgusting eggs. But Marnie wants the demon inside of Jesus inside her and decides to bloodlet him and take it. Which oddly enough works. So, if I go stab Rachel McAdams, I can have Ryan Gosling inside of me? Ok, down girl! But that was an odd method to me, but whatever. Jesus is dead. R.I.P.
Jason decides to tell Hoyt whom I no longer like, that he had sex with Jessica. Hoyt reacts in the customary bros before hoes way and proceeds to beat on Jason. Really beat on Jason. Later Jessica visits Jason and she explains as much she is enjoying the sex she has no plans to get serious with him. Let me just say, that whole love scene with them was HOT!! And giving Jason all props he actually understands that this woman has just started growing up and discover the woman she might be. Good job! Jason you have re-earned your title you are officially Stupid Hot again! Love live Jasonica.
Speaking of hot. Alcide!! Alcide!! And for good measure Alcide!! He shows up at Marlotte’s to tell Sookie he is finally done with Druggie and thinks she should give him a try. I can’t think of a clever transition so…Tara goes over to Lafayette’s and discovers Jesus’ will not be back next season and informs Sookie and Holly that Marnie is back and this time wearing Lafayette. He is seriously going to go rent Ghost so he can learn how to control these possessions. Oda Mae Brown to the rescue! Marnie/Lafayette has managed to silver and hang Bill and Eric at the stake. Holly breaks out her Wiccan kit and works a spell, while Sookie shoots her hand lights at Lafayette. Whatever this spell is all the dead rise from their graves including Grandmother Stackhouse. No she didn’t bring any of her delicious looking food with her, but she did bring Antonia. Grand literally reaches down Lala’s throat and pulls Marns out. Antonia starts to talk Marnie down from her ledge of crazy and convinces her to walk into the light with all the rest of the spirits. Marnie is dead – again. R.I.P
There were of course some tie-ups the lesser storylines of the season moments: Andy wants to date Holly. Scott Foley shows up as one of Terry’s Marine buddies. Rene, yes Rene shows up tell Arlene to watch Terry because he is got some bad inside or something along those lines. After Eric and Bill were rescued they have a weird but comical buffet ala Sookie and she decides to leave them both. NOOOOO! Pick Eric! Pam has a breakdown where she really can’t believe that someone with such a stupid name can cause Eric’s loins to run so hot. Meanwhile, back at Graceland Bayou, Nan the Vampire shows up and tells Elvis she has been fired. She wants them to join her in her fight against the Council. To which Eric responds by ripping her guards hearts out and Bill stakes her. Nan is dead. R.I.P.
Over at Stackhouse Manor Debbie wearing her best Metallica t-shirt shows up wielding a shotgun. She of course is going to kill her some Sookie! Just as she points the gun to pull the trigger, Tara jumps in front of Sookie! She’s SHOTTTTTTT! Actually in what looks like her head. Sookie grabs the gun from Debs and shots her ass in the head. Tara is dead. (Maybe.) Debbie is dead. R.I.P.
Overall the episode was fairly decent. Like I said earlier the second half was much better than the beginning, which lagged a bit, was a tad boring, but it got cooking. For the most part the entire season lagged along and suffered from some clumsy storylines i.e. Frenchie the Ghost, Andy hooked on V and everything Sam did, but once again I’m sad to see it end. We certainly have setups for next season i.e. Tara as much as I would like isn’t dead. Which vampire will save her is the question? Andy most certainly impregnated a fairy. Sookie most likely will be fucking Alcide next season. Hopefully. Sam will probably marry Luna. And Terry will most likely go nutters again. And the BIGGIE, did Russell did himself out of the concrete? So this concludes the recaps of season four of True Blood. Season four is dead. R.I.P.
Thoughts, groans, moans, theories.
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