No seriously, I know some people who deserve some ipecac laced cupcakes. Just saying. Well, in what is technically episode one because last week’s episode was actually the pilot, the first season of American Horror Story is going to be a very bumpy and somewhat confusing mysterious ride.
This contains big time spoilers. If you haven’t watched the episode, I am advising you turn back now. Save yourself.**
Picture it 1968, a women’s boarding house two young women, one a nurse, the other a Sunday school teacher. They never say that’s what she is, but she looks the part. The two are settled in for some TV watching, when there is a knock at the door. Outside there is a creepy dude with a “gash” on his forehead and being that it’s 1968, Sunday school lets him inside the home. NO, no Sunday never help anyone! And since this American Horror Story , he of course kills Nurse Betty and turns on Sunday and stabs her repeatedly.
Of course this all this happened inside the Victorian. Another double murder inside this house that we know of, it begs the question how much death has occurred in this house? And why?
Now back to our time and we see Tate being his usual Kurt Cobainy cardigan wearing weird psychotic self regaling Dr. Hot Ben (Dylan McDermott) with tales of masturbation to Violet. How classy Tate. Remember in my last post when I predicted Ben’s little paramour was knocked up? Well she is. Anyway the good doc has to come up with a quick lie to tell Vivien (of course the burned guy whom I’m still calling Grady from Shining tells him to lie) so he can return to Boston. He says he must see a patient.
But, just before Ben (can I get some applause for Dylan McDermott abs once more? BANGIN!!!) sets out his journey, he sees another patient, an actress, who is completely fascinated with his house aka The Murder House. She is having dreams about being stuck in between floors and then while she tries to escape it falls and cuts her in half. I would advise you to take notice of that sentence. Wink, wink.
Meanwhile, at Constance’s (Jessica Lange) she was preparing some lovely chocolate cupcakes made from coco, flour, sugar, syrup of ipecac and spit. Delicious. The recipient of these baked goods was supposed to be Violet, but during Constance’s heart to heart with Vivien about her upcoming visit from the stork Viv ate one. Yes ewww. But one was left. I would advise you to take notice of that sentence. Wink, wink.
Then it turns to nightfall at the haunted humble abode and Vivienne has yet a second heart to heart this time with Violet. Violet ridicules her mother’s age and pregnancy and throws her and the spit flavored cupcake out of her room. She in fact leaves it on the floor outside her room. And suddenly there’s a knock at the door. Who is it you ask? On the doorstep there stares a woman this time; she also has a “gash” on her forehead. Ahhh, but Viv has seen the nightly news and refuses to unlock her door. Not deterred Gashette and two others (a male and the actress patient from earlier) have decided they want to reenact the ’68 crime. Odd, but ok if it makes you happy.
Just as the crime syndicate manages to get inside. They tie Viv up and force Vi upstairs, guess who flew in from??? to save them. Tate. He tells Vi to get the intruders to the basement. Well, dumb actress sees the cupcake on the floor and devours it. Did I mention the pastry had syrup of ipecac in its batter? I had no idea there was a thing, but yup it’s a thing. Thespian becomes violently ill and like Jack Nicholson in The Shining Tate splits her ass in two, while she was wrenching from being sick- just like her dream. Good one! And through some clever coaxing Violet gets idiot number two into the basement, where Nurse Betty and Sunday school now reside in their afterlife. Viv is able to free herself from male idiot and he too runs to the basement. In the basement Betty and Sunday killed Number Two and Male Idiot gets his throat cut as well by the pair. Constance, Moira and Tate caucus to see how to dispose of the bodies. Why do I get the feeling those three have this down to a science?
The episode ends with Dr. Abs returning from Boston. The LAPD shares their theory that the Thespian patient (whose body they have found) was murdered by the two others because they were angry at the failed 1968 murder reenactment. Vivien again proves she has seen enough announces they are selling the house. Sorry, Viv probably not going to happen.
So far so good, I do love how they are managing to make me think while watching this show. I also love how all the characters are definitely related and tied together in some way. I think the writing is pretty clever the way Ryan Murphy and are doling out the clues. For instance, is Tate Constance’s son? Did he kill himself or is he alive? Who the hell is Ben talking to on the phone? Why does Addie keep coming over to play in the house? And, who the hell is Van Johnson?