Fright Night 2011 – Colin’s Arms Are Not Enough

Directed by Craig Gillespie. 2011First off how old is that tall kid with the fluffy hair? Call me if you’re legal if not – awkward. Back to men my own age. Can we get Colin Farrell to move next door to me? Please, I’ll be good.Fright Night 2011 3D

In my constant quest to actually like something I tried to surrender all preconceived hatred of Fright Night 2011 because face it- it’s an unnecessary remake. Hollywood insists on making these, so whatever I’ll bite. Get it? Bite, because it’s about vampires. Whatever. It is unnecessary and most importantly boring. For the most part the story is the same as in ’85, Charlie, reformed dork, discovers his new magically delicious neighbor, Jerry, is a vampire. This time however Middle America has been changed to suburban Las Vegas. Jerry is no longer a rich art collector, but a construction worker on The Strip at night. After Charlie’s friend “Evil” Ed (McLovin’ himself, Christopher Mintz-Plasse)disappears it becomes really boring game of cat and mouse between Jerry and Charlie. Enter Peter Vincent. Replaced is the lovable fraud Vincent of yesteryear Roddy McDowell, with a hybrid Chriss Angel Marilyn Manson-‘esque douche lord (David Tennant) all moderned up for a new generation. But this time the Mom (played by the ever brilliant Toni Collette) and Amy the girlfriend are brought into the game, which was a little odd considering the film’s ending.

The problem with the movie is that it’s thin, by that I mean the plot, characters and action are so one dimensional you don’t care about the outcome. The film tries to engage you with a joke thrown in here and there, but they fell a bit flat and were severely forced. Then there’s the CGI, I can’t complain enough about how much I hate it so I’ll just not speak of it. Like I stated earlier for the most part the story is almost identical with a few changes to of course attempt to make it 2011. There’s an anti-climactic ending that will probably make you yawn and a wasted cameo from Chris Sarandon (the original Jerry).

I guess if I were a child this film would have been entertaining. Although I am a 17-year-old boy at heart (i.e my mind is perpetually stuck on dirty thought mode) I can tell you I would have been more thrilled if Farrell had kept his shirt off for the duration of the film. And that’s saying a lot because I saw Col’s sex tape and I know how he rolls. I would give Fright Night 2011 a pass unless you’re bored, but keep in mind you’ll still be bored.