This contains big time spoilers. If you haven’t watched the episode, I am advising you turn back now. Save yourself.**
When last we left Sookie, Pam and Lafayette they were all staring at Tara who had leapt from her dirt bed. The first person Tara attacks is Sookie, (yaaaay!) and poor Lafayette tries his best to get Tara to release her. It’s a fail, but Pam finally commands her new leash to not kill Sookie and Lafayette. Afterwards, Tara turns into the Tasmanian Vampire and proceeds to destroy Stackhouse Manor – all while Lafayette and Sookie look on speechless and helpless.
The next morning while Tara is sleeping, Lafayette decides he wants to steak the chick. Captain Save a Hoe Sookie stops him. Why? Put her and us out of our misery. No one likes the character and I cannot for the life of me understand why they have kept Tara around.
I previously asked the question are they purposely making Tara a mindless vampire. You know reminiscent of the not quite right mentally Bubba. In the books there is a character called Bubba. In his previous life he was known to us as Elvis. Yes that one. But, once Elvis was turned it made him a little stupid. Personally, I’ve seen no evidence of real Elvis being a rocket scientist. But, I have to say book Bubba/Elvis is entertaining. In other words I was so on board with making Tara Bubba. But no, you guys could not give us that could you? Instead we see near the end of the episode, Tara scream at Sookie and Lafayette she will never forgive them. So once again Tara is pissed off. WHO CARES?! Tara you’re always pissed off. Walk into the sun and call it day or a death – just go away.
Meanwhile, Bill, Eric and Nora are in the hands of the Vampire Authority. The three of them are party to some 1980s movie bad cop good cop questioning by the authority regarding their thoughts about the place humans have with vampires. Basically the VA wants the vampires to assimilate and anything other than that will not be tolerated. We learn some True Blood lore about Nan or someone or other, I wasn’t listening really I was trying not to doze off. Chris Meloni makes his debut as the head vamp in charge says some words about tolerance and decides to send Eric and Bill to the true death via a really pointy stick. Bill offers King Russell to the VA for he and Eric’s life. (Terrible grammar on that sentence I know, but bad grammar happens.) And just like us Chris is intrigued. So, they delay their deaths another few episodes. But that I mean our heroes will prevail and we go with the show.
We of course at the end see King Russell! Seriously does Denis O’Hare get paid extra on these shows for the many, many hours he spends in makeup? Let’s just say Russell Edgington is beat! However, by the many, many bodies lying around the floor he will be back to his crazy batshit self soon enough.
Over at Fangtasia, Pammycakes flaskbacked to her hookah past. As she told us before in 1905 San Francisco Pam was a madam. On her walk home from the office she is accosted by a man, that Eric kills on her behalf. This shows us how the hot Viking and Pam met. Other than show filler and giving us insight into why Pam is all melancholy because Eric is mad at her, this didn’t make me happy. I know, I’m shocked I was still bored.
Then there is Rev. Newlin. He offers Jessica $10,000 for Jason. I mean Stupid Hot looks like a nice ride and all, but it’s not like he’s Alcide. Of course Jessica refuses and sends Newlin on his way. Speaking of Alcide he not only refuses to snack on the late Marcus; he also refuses to be pack master. I get the feeling things are going to get really bad for Als. Don’t worry too much because they’ve cast Robert Patrick as Alcide’s dad. A Terminator should be able to keep him safe as shit right?
Sam and Luna have a fight about something. Don’t care. Terry and Scott Foley talk about Iraq. Don’t care. But hat tips to ya Scott for looking good in your t-shirts! Sherriff Andy said some words. Jason went to Mrs. Housedress and Hoyt’s house to apologize again for sleeping with Jessica to no avail. Why is Hoyt still around? It’s time to start skimming the fat on this show in my opinion, if they don’t have a storyline let them sit the season out. Just saying.
I know it’s only the second episode but this season is starting to become a little stale in my opinion. Again, I’m really sick right now so I’m watching with medication goggles, so I’m sleepy anyway. It could be that, but I really don’t think so. I would give it 5/10 if I were rating it.
Thoughts, theories, groans, moans?