This contains big time spoilers. If you haven’t watched the episode, I am advising you turn back now. Save yourself.**
Just when I was ready to give this show a big suck it; they let Sookie almost suck Alcide. Get it? Well Sookie almost did – Ha! But, just like the Grinch that Stole the Sexy, Sookie who was drunk ruins the mood by vomiting on Alcide. This happens much to the utter delight of Eric and Bill who arrived at Stackhouse Manor to ask Sookie to read the mind of parking lot attendant, Silent Bob, who witnessed Russell’s un-tombing. Seriously did that guy not look like Kevin Smith? For the first time I think at least since the beginning of the first season I like TV Sookie! Well drunk TV Sookie that is, drunks are fun! Everybody drink.
Sookie has a very comical observation on how Alcide, Eric and Bill are a bit like three dogs barking over a bone. Actually they kind of are, but to quote Sookie, let’s boot and rally! Off they go: Priscilla, Elvis, Hagar the Horrible and Benji out into the night in the pink Cadillac looking for old King Crazy! Putting a damper on the whole thing was Tina Majorino informing Bill and Eric they have until dawn to find and kill Russell or they be turned into goo. Speaking of Goo. Apparently Drew is goo. Drew as near as I can tell was one of the vampire authority founders, who turned against vamp assimilation. I’m really not that into this storyline yet, so I will admit to only half heartily paying attention. But remember Drew is goo, someday that will be important to us.
As much as I also don’t really care, Terry and Scott Foley take their places on center stage to continue to regale us with tales from Iraq. During a botched guarding mission they kill an entire village of innocent people and then proceed to set said village on fire. One of the women manages to curse them with her last dying breath. Good for her actually. She has been sending a fire demon to wipe out Terry’s fire team. The irony of that is not missed on me Mr. Ball, well played. In the Marine Corps a group of four guys on guard duty is referred to as a fire team. You guys can thank Call of Duty for my knowledge of these terms. However, it turns out Terry’s comrade isn’t crazy like Foley thinks, the demon comes and kills him in spite of the place being fire proof. Poor guy had the right idea.
Finally they found something for Sam to do. He starts the episode by discovering his two friends dead from an apparent vampire draining. Can I just ask how many times this season are we going to see Andy’s ass? We get it, you started working out and yes it’s a better ass than I would have thought, but unless we are dating I don’t need to see it anymore. But nonetheless, Sheriff Andy and his deputy Stupid Hot Jason are on the case. Especially since Jason thanks to last week’s encounter with Haley is all about some Sup hating. Anyone else seeing the parallels here? R.I.P. Andy Griffith.
Later in the episode a group of masked red necks shoot Sam as he leaves Luna, he is there telling her about their dead shifter friends. Hearing the gunshots Luna races outside where she is also shot. Farewell Luna may you annoy us no more! Speaking of annoying. I hate to say it but Tara is a really a pretty girl isn’t she? Pam gives Tara one of her badass corsets and makes Tara tend bar. There of course is some whining from Tara, something about slaves. Nonetheless Jessica witnessing Pam teaching Tara vamp rules attempts to extend Terror an olive branch. This does not last long after Tara takes Hoyt up on his offer of being her dinner for the night. You guys know how I love guys in eyeliner right? Last week I laughed at Hoyt – well…his arms are good. So, I’m giving him a pass on that awful outfit. Jessica over hears Tara snacking on Hoyt and they start brawling. In what world would anyone fight over Hoyt? But ok.
Meanwhile, during The Wizard of Odd scene (Alcide, Eric, Bill, Sookie and not Kevin Smith) arrive at an old abandoned mental hospital. This is of course is Hide Out O’ King Russell. Now, I can’t honestly tell you too much about this sequence because I saw and heard rats! This bitch don’t do rats! So I literally was not looking at the screen. I heard Russell tell our gang that he was waiting on them and basically he tells Pretty Boy Eric to bring it on! Through my peeking eyes I did see something grab Alcide.
Overall, this episode was sooo much better. Damn it took you guys long enough. I would give it 6/10 if I were rating it.
Thoughts, theories, groans, moans?