This contains big time spoilers. If you haven’t watched the episode, I am advising you turn back now. Save yourself.**
After getting off to what in my opinion was a less than stellar start, this season is turning itself around, if not with rock’em sock’em action True Blood is making up for the lack of that with some solid and crafty writing. Last night’s episode called, ‘Everybody Wants to Rule the World’ was filled with some serious lefty propaganda
My kind of propaganda . and struggles to as the title suggests rule the world. The show itself has never really shied away from making subtle and not so subtle statements about Southern race relations is clearly going out of its way to make some serious political parallels this season. I don’t know the political allegiances of True Blood’s viewership however if I was a Tea Partier I would feel some side-eye clearly being thrown my way.
It was an all-out war amongst the Lilith Lovers versus Lilith Deniers, the Obama’s versus Supernaturals, and the V Loving Wolfs versus Wolf’s Against V and even over at the Sherriff’s Department we see Stupid Hot Jason versus even more stupid Jason. Did you hear some of that kid’s comments last night; phew get the man a helmet quick!
Bill’s plan of blowing up the Tru Blood factory has been carried out and the vampires have started to stock-pile the beverage in droves and causing overall panic among the human’s and vampires, because they all realize once bottled TB is no more, the humans will become supper. The news channels are airing videos made by the Obama’s where they are yelling about ‘taking their country back’ while committing hate crimes against vampires or whatever supernaturals they can find. Hmmm, where have I heard that poorly veiled sentiment before? I’m looking at you Tea Party. Eric wants out of the Vampire Council’s sponsored Lilith Fest. He along with Tina Majorino, devise a plan involving getting an elder’s blood to flee the building. Sharing this plan with Bill, who Eric believes is putting on a great act for the Council, tells him he must get Salome’s blood to unlock the doors.
Meanwhile, the chase is on for the Obama’s. That’s not a sentence one types every day.Jason, Andy, Jessica, Sam and
Annoying Luna are all on the hunt to find the masked villains. The lead in the case as mentioned comes in the form of the video where Andy and Barney discover the leader is referring to himself as the grand wizard, this gives Jason the idea to go beat on locked up prisoner, Joe Bob until he tells them who the Wiz iz. Ha! Find the Wizard, find the Obama’s, find Hoyt. Easy peasy. They actually figure out the Wizard is Retired Sheriff Dearborn. This happens because Dearborn was given some cowboy boots left over from an old episode of Dallas and he’s wearing them in the video. Over at Stackhouse manor, Laverne and Shirley a.k.a. Sookie and Lafayette, with Sookie clearly being Laverne in this scenario, Lala channels Grandma Delicious Breakfast. Granny Hot Cakes informs them the clue to Parent Murder 1992 is located in a hat box underneath Sookie’s bed. It contains a newspaper clip that also points Sookie to Retired Sheriff Dearborn.
What happens when a retired sheriff discovers Viagra and gets p-whipped? A hot mess, it what. Enter Tammie (that is not her name), a woman with a chip on her shoulder and an ax to grind. Tammie’s husband has left her for a shape-shifter and she is pissed. When she meets Retired Sheriff Dearborn she ply’s him sex and he in turn drafts an army of stupid closet minded bigots
with too much time and guns on their hands who take up shooting supernaturals in the fight for American freedom. It’s ok of course, because according to Tammie, “They may look like us, they may talk like us, but they ain’t us.” Again where have I heard that shit before? Still looking at you Tea Party. Tammie and Dearborn drug Sookie and throw her in with the pigs just as they have done Hoyt. However, Sam and Luna have shifted into pigs. Sam goes all naked Ninja and takes each Obama out one-by-one, with kicks and fisticuffs. Lot’s fisticuffs last night. Smiles. Just as Dearborn decides that Bruce LeRoy* Sam can’t stop a bullet, in other words he prepares to shot him Andy and Jason arrive. Andy shoots Sheriff Sexy Times in the chest ending his reign as an Obama. Luna in a rare not annoying moment chases Tammie and her fluffy slippers down and exacts some justice in the name of sups on her face. Fisticuffs to the face. Smiles.
Clears throat. Is anyone else tired of Bill? He seriously has the conviction of a gnat, every year this flake changes his stripes. Wherever the wind blows so does Bill. This year he’s a Lilith lover, last year he was a politician, next year he’ll join the circus – promise. Grow a pair Bill, jeez! Anyway, as stated earlier Eric mistakenly trusts Bill with his plan to flee, but just when Eric is about to make a run for it, Bill appears with the vampire marines and tells Eric, ‘Lilith loves us and some other hippie dippy Pollyanna nonsense.’ Hey Eric! Wait for it… Elvis has left the building!! Had to. Basically, Hägar the Horrible, Elvis wants you to get back in the pink Cadillac and eat that fried banana sammich.
There were some other less than necessary moments during the episode including Terry killing Scott Foley. Nice fight scene, but still this is an unneeded storyline. Alcide goes on a flashback circa 1988, I couldn’t tell for sure because I couldn’t past all the Wrangler/ Jordache denim apparel on the screen. Nonetheless we are introduced to Robert Patrick as his dad. Marilyn Manson took over Fangtasia and became the new sheriff of Area 5. Russell and his wig got some screen time by taking Luna’s daughter from the wolf pack as payment for his blood.
Overall, this episode was chucked full of political symmetry and some decent fight scenes which I loved. So I would give it 8/10 if I were rating it. Thoughts, theories, groans, moans?
*See fight scene from The Last Dragon. Dragon. Irony.