Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark – Great Starter Horror for the Kiddies

Dont_be_afraid_of_the_dark_poster_2011
Directed by Troy Nixey
Remember the film, The Watcher in the Woods? The old 80s Bette Davis film. If you check its IMDB page the film is classified as a horror. Well, if you watched it you know not so much. But, if you were a child like I was when that film was released then its Disney-esque horror was not lost on you. I say all that because this is the feeling you will surely get from watching Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark .

First and foremost can someone please explain the point of purchasing estates for you, a spouse and literally a small child? Space this large in my opinion asks for ghosts to come mess with you. Early in the film we are introduced to a little girl called, Sally, who is sent by her mother from Los Angeles to live with her father, Alex (Guy Pearce) and his girlfriend, Kim (Katie Holmes). They as you might have guessed have purchased an estate with “history.” A large estate but in their defense they are planning on flipping it. So, I will cut them a bit of slack I suppose. But, this house’s history – since it’s a horror movie of course leans towards death. Bloody, teeth shattering (literally) death. Continue reading

Dexter’s Back! New Promo Makes Me Happy

Love it, love everything about this!

Shit’s cool right?! Sounds like the real Dexter is going to return this season. Enough with the feelings factory the last two seasons produced. Marriage, baby, dead wife, blah, blah, blah. I am hoping for an all-out killing spree. According to rumors around the internet’s Edward James Olmos, that’s Lieutenant Martin Castillo to you oldies out there will be joining the cast this season. Also, Colin Hanks (Tom’s son) and Molly Parker (chick from Deadwood ) will come along on this year’s ride. Season 6 of Dexter airs on Showtime later this year.
DEXTER stars Michael C. Hall (Golden Globe and SAG Award winner) as a complicated and conflicted blood-spatter expert for the Miami police department who moonlights as a serial killer. Season five of the series also starred Jennifer Carpenter, Desmond Harrington, C.S. Lee, Lauren Vélez, David Zayas, and James Remar. Continue reading

‘The Roommate’ DVD Review – You Already Know

I’m sure many of the other reviews pointed out The Roommate has an uncanny resemblance to the 1992 film Single White Female , but I am hell bent on not comparing the two. Because as you might have already heard the latter is far better. And honestly as a person who’s taste has only matured slightly since then, Single White Female isn’t exactly a masterpiece either. So, let’s pretend The Roommate’s existence is from a brand spankin’ new fresh idea. With that factored in, this film was exciting as watching a fly land on a picnic table. Riveting!

The Roommate stars some people that I have never seen any other their other works, but I’m already jealous of Minka Kelly, because apparently she’s dating Derek Jeter. So just call me a hater. And the other actress is Leighton Meister (I didn’t bother to check the spelling, sorry.) who is on something called Gossip Girl, which needless to say I haven’t seen. Minka plays a college freshman from somewhere they wear fedora’s with peacock feathers that comes to Los Angeles to study design at some undetermined college. It might have been determined but I wasn’t paying attention. Here Minka meets her roommate Nutters McRich (Leighton Meister). And let the party begin! Basically, Leighton decides she wants Minka to be her one and only friend forevermore. She then proceeds to go out of her way to destroy all of Minka’s other relationships. Oddly, enough she doesn’t actually kill anyone, with exception to a cat. Side-eye. Leighton’s character uses intimidation and mild violence to take people from Minka. Shivers, scary stuff. Again side-eye.
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How Horror Are You? First Movie Date

Last night one of the cable channels was playing Candyman and I actually watched it for the first time in what has to be at least a decade. Tony Todd is still a scary mofo! I remembered Candyman was the movie I saw on my first date. Awww…anyway I’m lame and an old hag. I think it’s funny that mine was a horror. Destiny, I tell ya.

What was your first date movie – horror? If so, what was it? If not what was it, so we can point and laugh. (Kidding.)

DVD Review of ‘After.Life’ – Life Goes On, Well for Some of Us

I would have liked this movie more if The Sixth Sense hadn’t preceded it. You will pretty much figure out the little twist by the end of the first act of the film. Of course, there’s something utterly creepy and wrong about Liam Neeson’s character, so there is a reason to watch. To the films credit however, there are a few loops here and there to make you question your perception of reality. Is she or isn’t she?

We are introduced to the Anna Taylor character (Christina Ricci) doing what Christina Ricci usually does on film, be oddly creepy and somewhat fascinating. You know where you keep looking at her, not sure, if you like or trust her. Maybe that’s just me. But, I tell you something about that girl is not right. But, I always like her performance. Moving on. Ricci’s character seems harmless enough; she is just living her life as a teacher who is dating Paul Coleman (Justin Long aka The Mac Guy), who for a reason we are never really told the two of them have a tumultuous relationship. Soon after, we meet Eliot Deacon (Neeson), who is the local undertaker, at what appears to be the only funeral home in this town, when Anna attends a funeral. After an unwarranted and not explained clearly fight with Paul, Anna jumps in her car and races away. Of course this fight happens during a rainstorm that is more powerful than any windshield wiper known to man. Funny how that happens in movies.

Well, according to Neesan’s character Anna’s taking life for granted and all that jazz. Seriously, he gives a little existential speech somewhere in the third act to explain this to us. Since, I’m in the middle of an existential moment right now, clearly he was talking to me. Got it, but I digress. Anna tells us that she always meant to do “something” but never got around to it. Too late now. You dead girl, says Whoopi. Remember that line from Ghost? (Don’t blog with a wine glass in your hand, this is the result.) Annnnyway.

Now as I mentioned, the film would throw out little clues to what was “really” happening to make you unsettled if you will. Watch out for the creepy little crumb snatcher running sround. Check out his mother. Just saying. Some of this works, but then the pace would slow down and you would stop caring. Eventually, you get to the ending, which wasn’t as shocking or surprising as it was probably meant to be. The movie had simply drug on too long, with setting up characters, like the mother who really had nothing to do. Overall, I would give it a cable it.