About that ‘Total Recall’ Remake – Starring Colin Farrell’s Arms

This is one of those remakes I can take or leave, pretty much how I felt about Fright Night but as the saving grace that was we have Colin Farrell and his magical arms! So yay for that! Unfortunately some ass hat decided to put him in a shirt with sleeves. What’s up with that nonsense?! I demand that he be shirtless NOW!

For a factory worker named Douglas Quaid (Colin Farrell), even though he’s got a beautiful wife (Kate Beckinsale) whom he loves, the mind-trip sounds like the perfect vacation from his frustrating life – real memories of life as a super-spy might be just what he needs. But when the procedure goes horribly wrong, Quaid becomes a hunted man. Finding himself on the run from the police – controlled by Chancellor Cohaagen (Bryan Cranston) – there is no one Quaid can trust, except possibly a rebel fighter (Jessica Biel) working for the head of the underground resistance (Bill Nighy).

Seems the story has changed a bit since Arnie did his version in the day. Total Recall opens August 22nd.

Fright Night 2011 – Colin’s Arms Are Not Enough

Directed by Craig Gillespie. 2011First off how old is that tall kid with the fluffy hair? Call me if you’re legal if not – awkward. Back to men my own age. Can we get Colin Farrell to move next door to me? Please, I’ll be good.Fright Night 2011 3D

In my constant quest to actually like something I tried to surrender all preconceived hatred of Fright Night 2011 because face it- it’s an unnecessary remake. Hollywood insists on making these, so whatever I’ll bite. Get it? Bite, because it’s about vampires. Whatever. It is unnecessary and most importantly boring. For the most part the story is the same as in ’85, Charlie, reformed dork, discovers his new magically delicious neighbor, Jerry, is a vampire. This time however Middle America has been changed to suburban Las Vegas. Jerry is no longer a rich art collector, but a construction worker on The Strip at night. After Charlie’s friend “Evil” Ed (McLovin’ himself, Christopher Mintz-Plasse)disappears it becomes really boring game of cat and mouse between Jerry and Charlie. Enter Peter Vincent. Replaced is the lovable fraud Vincent of yesteryear Roddy McDowell, with a hybrid Chriss Angel Marilyn Manson-’esque douche lord (David Tennant) all moderned up for a new generation. But this time the Mom (played by the ever brilliant Toni Collette) and Amy the girlfriend are brought into the game, which was a little odd considering the film’s ending. Continue reading

‘Fright Night 3D’ Trailer/Poster – Surprisingly Not Annoyed by this Remake

Oi Colin Farrell! You can move next door to me vampired out and all honey, anytime. This is the first trailer for the upcoming Fright Night remake in all its 3D gory. I have to say that although I’m exhausted as hell with the rehash factory, this trailer surprisingly enough didn’t bother me. I’m torn on the subtle changes i.e., the mom finds out he’s a vampire? And the capeless Peter Vincent? McLovin’ as Evil? Meh, maybe.

Teenager Charley Brewster (Anton Yelchin) guesses that his new neighbor Jerry Dandrige (Farrell) is a vampire responsible for a string of recent deaths. When no one he knows believes him, he enlists Peter Vincent (David Tennant), the opportunistic host of his favorite TV show, to help him take down Jerry and his guardian.

Fright Night sucks us in at theaters August 19, 2011.
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Colin Farrell and Toni Collette Going Vampire!

Yup, that’s right. Colin Farrell and Toni Collette have reportedly joined the cast of the upcoming Fright Night remake. Although I am tired of the remakes, I feel since I’ve seen Colin Farrell naked, it’s only fair I watch his version of the 1985 classic Fright Night.

Farrell will apparently take on the role originated by Chris Sarandon, while Tara Toni will play the mother of the Anton Yelchin (Terminator Salvation , Star Trek) who will play Charlie the kid at the center of the vampire tale. Oh, about that naked Colin statement, he had a sex tape, so draw your own conclusions.

Now for the more important question who’s playing Evil? He was the weirdest little fuckin character in the movie man. Stay tuned…

For those of you born after the 80’s, enjoy!

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