True Blood Season 3 Predictions – Sam and A Shotgun!

If you are rewatching season two of the fabulous True Blood you will have seen this, if not check this out. True Blood returns June 13th.

So who’s holding the shotgun on Sam?

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True Blood Season 2, Episode 8: Timebomb (Let’s Discuss)

This contains big time spoilers. If you haven’t watched the episode, I am advising you turn back now. Save yourself.**Eric in Chains

Call me Mrs. Robinson, because I like Godric a lot! He is the wisest 1,000-year-old child I know. So, we pick up from last week’s episode with Godric saving stupid Sookie from being raped. He also ordered Eric to not kill anyone on his way from the church. Ok, so Sister Sara didn’t kill Stupid Hot, but shot him with a paint ball gun. Ok, why? But it is the final nail in the coffin of the Light of Day Institute Camp for Jason, which couldn’t have come any sooner. Although, I think I will miss Rev. Newlin. He is grade-A crazy, which was fun. How about Eric getting a chance to release his inner Viking, seriously hot? I also enjoyed his little pretending to be human, or his idea of what human’s act like. I half expected him to say, “gee golly” or “shucks.” But, he willingly did not kill the angry mob and offers himself in place of Godric and Sookie. So, brave and beautiful at the same time. I just can’t say enough about Eric.

Oh, yeah Bill was in this episode as well. He finally freed himself, by hitting Lorana over the head with a flat-screen t.v. That was the Looney Tunes moment of the episode, I guess. Anyway, he also hightails it to the church, finding Eric chained to the pulpit, where an angry mob has assembled to kill vamps and Sookie too. But, it’s Jason who saves the day, by shooting crazy Rev. Newlin with the paintball gun who took from Sister Sara. Meanwhile Lafayette is reading tarot cards with Tara, and I don’t do tarot, but as near as I can tell her cards all looked like the big bad is coming for her. Eggs comes in course to interrupt with some more on his ‘I can’t remember, I lost time’ shannigans. Does anyone still care about this character?

Maryann continues to mess with Sam for reasons still unclear to me. She’s a woman scorned or something, again with the who care’s at this point? Anyway, Maryann makes the freezer at Marlotte’s Daphne’s final resting place. And of course she’s heartless, like Ms. Jeanette earlier in the season. Back at Stackhouse manner she proceeds to make a bloody soufflé to feed to Tara and Eggs. They both devour the hearty meal and start beating the hell out of each other, while Mayann looks on gleefully.

The angry mob back at the church has now been met, with Stan and his angry mob of bloodthirsty vampires; just when the carnage was about to ensue, Godric intervenes and makes it all stop. But, Rev. Newlin calls for a martyr for the cause. The volunteer comes later. Jason also informs him that he slept with his wife in a very colorful way. I was so proud. Back at Marlotte’s where the police are questioning Sam for the murder of Daphne, drunk Andy comes to his defense. A kind gesture on his part but, everyone has written him off as the Otis Campbell** of the town. Whereas Sam gets arrested along with just about everyone in Bon Temps. Funny how the police haven’t noticed that the strange behavior started after Maryann and her band of orgy came to town.

Godric in his calm way tells Jason he is now friends with the vampires of Dallas and that he is a hero. Eric tells him that they are even for the vamp murder last season, but warns Jason not the let it happen again. Poor Jessica finds out the natural healing of vampire’s deems her a virgin forever. I can’t think of anything sadder than that for her. Can you imagine? Bill tells Eric he knows he summoned Lorana, like he cared. In fact Eric is quite amused that Bill appeared to be picking a fight. Speaking of Lorana what in the lame was the whole scene with Sookie about? Sookie drank her crazy and decided to take her on for the love of Bill. Really, Bill. Just when I expected Lorana to toss her across the room, like a rag-doll, the King of Zen, Godric, intervened, sending Lorana from Dallas. Boo!!! Hiss!!! Just as Sookie is confronting Bill about Eric or some lame, Luke from the Institute arrives strapped with a bomb. Dallas Cliffhanger style….

I would give the episode an 8.5/10 if I were rating it. Thoughts, groans, moans?
I will leave you guys with these questions for next week’s episode:
What is the hell kind of food stuff makes you want to fight and then turn around and have sex? And did it appear bloody to us only or was it bleeding in their reality as well?
Again what is Maryann’s overall purpose?
How long has she had Eggs murdering people on her behalf?
We all know Rev. Newlin will be back, wearing another suit from the Boss Hog** collection, but when?
Can we mandate Eric just wear black wife beaters for the rest of the season?

References for the semi-funny: Lookup The Andy Griffith Show and Dukes of Hazard .

True Blood Episode 6 Tonight! HUGE Spoiler Alert!!!!

Tonight’s episode is going to be hot!! The episode is called, Cold Ground, and I guess the title tells us a lot about the underlying theme, see what I did there.

Anyway, here are the deathtails: Gran is dead. The town in reeling. Will Sookie be able to put aside her grief and confusion long enough to get to the bottom of it all? With Sam and Bill facing off to protect her and Jason flying spectacularly off the rails, it may be long enough before she loses something dear to her.

Interesting. What could Sookie lose that is so dear? It makes me wonder if she needs protection in this particular instance. And, look out for Uncle Bartlett, you are not going to like him at all.