Yeah, I could care less about Twilight, but then there is this… And this… And then this… And most importantly this… Yes, I know he’s young. To that I say I couldn’t have birthed him and do you see the kids abs? And don’t get me started on his arms. I think another installment of …
I still have no interest or intention on watching this mess, but I like leering at this kid. It’s bad, call Dateline; it’s time for a Chris Henson intervention. Maybe I could pull a Paul Walker. Look it up, that’s all I’m saying.
The zombies are aiming to take back the bite from vampires. Forget about Tickle Me Elmo Robert Pattinson and his Twilight gang, Woody Harrelson and the brother of the Pepsi girl have breathed new life into the walking dead with the success of Zombieland. Ok, I’ll stop the punning. On October 13th at 10:00 p.m., …
Entertainment Weekly named their list of the greatest vampires of all time and I kind of think someone was smoking some garlic cigars when they came up with it.Tickle Me Elmo Robert Pattinson shouldn’t ‘t be this high on the list. Seriously, Kiefer Sutherland’s David would have beat him with his mullet and ate him …
Stephen Moyer, True Blood’s Bill Compton, called a certain angsty-teen vamp known as Edward Cullens, some funny names. Twilight’s toothsome Robert Pattinson, Moyer simply says, “He’s a pussy! He’s the Slim-Fast, Diet Coke of vampires.” I have to say I agree, I think that Pattinson kid looks like Tickle Me Elmo, but I know you …
Directed by Fede Alvarez (2013) No Ash? Wait, they are remaking Evil Dead, without Bruce Campbell? What? That’s crazy talk. That will never work. The Ash character is now a girl? Remember when the internet world went all flavors of nutters when that information came out about this remake. Guess what? They were WRONG! I …
After a much needed break, I have returned from my walkabout. Walkabout, that spontaneous journey through the wilderness of one’s choosing in an effort to satisfy one’s itchy feet, a need to be elsewhere, the craving for the open road, that space over the horizon… You guessed it I walked about the shoes stores across …
Directed by Andrés Muschietti 2013 I’ll just say this right off, I’m a big fan of Guillermo del Toro, so I came into Mama with bias. Technically this film was not directed by Guillermo, but by Andrés Muschietti, who actually co-wrote and directed a Spanish short by the same name in 2008. However, when you …
We laughed, we cringed, we booed and we laughed some more, because it’s us. That’s we do. I always procrastinate with this list because I see dozens upon dozens of films each year and I’m always somewhat unmoved lately that is. I long for the days of Jason and Freddie. There are just no good …
Juan de los Muertos (original title) Directed by Alejandro Brugués 2012 How can a film go wrong when you include Sid Vicious crooning Sinatra’s ‘My Way’ on its soundtrack I ask you? Answer is you cannot. This film actually had my approval with its title, ‘Juan of the Dead’. Remember that cool little British film, …